lots of references to food

There are so many references to food through out the day. From advertising to daily interactions with family and others. It's just a constant reminder of the situation I find myself. I may be on a feeding tube the rest of my life, WOW! I have really taken my health for granted, even though I've been battling this cancer for 20 years. I never really wanted it to interfere with my life. For the most part I lived my life. In hindsight, (ha ha ha) I know I would have done more, been more reckless. It has been small losses over many years, easy to accept and move on. Now the cumulative effect weighs heavy on me hourly, daily. At the same time I know I'm still healing. The nerves in my jaw are firing trying to reconnect, sometimes causing shooting pain.When I'm around people, family just making facial expressions cause my jaw to tense up. Not exactly a charlie horse, but the tension causes pain. I never understood when people around me would make the statement, your health is most important.