Finding myself isolated

Once again I'm finding myself more isolated. After going to the doctor for a check up on the skin graft on my leg, I head to San Diego to visit family. My leg is healed, doc actually said, you should have emailed me a picture and saved the trip. Oh, well I really need to get out.
I feel really isolated, at home I'm really not a part of the family. I can't eat with the family, nor can I talk very well for sustained periods of time. I sound like an idiot. I know I'm experiencing some depression. I'm somewhat despondent. Mostly when I think about the future. I have brief periods of self talk about travel once I recover from this ordeal with the dreaded CANCER! I broke down to my daughter, she encouraged me to get help. I have been in counseling before and have benefited from it. I don't really want to visit family again. I know they all mean well, say I'm doing so well and staying strong. No one really gets it. No one really understands! I have lost so much, I'm the only one that can turn it around and not let it get me. It's not like I don't have fun or a good time, laugh. It's the low after the fun that gets me. Too much of a roller coaster ride for me, at this time in my life. I just don't want to be around people.
Heading home tomorrow after visiting my Dad in the desert. The wind blew madly upon arrival two days ago, and now it is blowing fiercely again. Time to go home and take care of paper work, and schedule pre-opt. with my primary physician.